in the woods

Time. I have written about time before. I will write about time again very soon i am sure. Time is important to me. even now, in the middle of no where when I have no schedule to stick to, I still look at the clock every half hour. It stresses me when I don't know what time it is. Even when I have nowhere to be.

Time is pure. It's something you can count on. Tomorrow is the only thing that comes for free.

 I am in Sweden now. What usually defines the winter in Sweden is the cold and the dark. It's dark outside now as I am writing this. And it is so cold that I have been outside to walk only once today. It's -31 C outside now. I can see my own breath inside, and I can feel my fingers, stiffer than usual, as I type.

 It is as if the house doesn't really want to get warm. As if the house saw a picture of a warm chimney once, and is now trying to copy what it saw, without feeling it firsthand, and is therefore majorly failing the whole heat-thing. I chop the firewood every day. I break the ice in our well everyday, even though it's getting harder. I feel as if something is broken inside when I cannot walk. It's such a major part of who I define myself to be, and without it I feel a little lost. It's not forever though. That's always something. Nothing last forever.

And it is fucking beautiful outside. There is something pure about the beauty, something innocent, the snow lies thick on the ground, the only sound you hear is that of your own feet. The dark branches of the evergreen trees are only half visible behind the powderfine layer of snow. Time seems to pass differently. Somewhat quicker because of the lack of daylight, but also slower because of the long winter nights.

I am really enjoying those winter nights. Writing. Thinking. I have a hard time falling asleep, as if the cold is somehow inviting thoughts into my head that my body is too tired to deal with. I am still getting plenty of rest though, and maybe that's why I am getting restless. After chopping the wood, and getting the water, after playing with my brother, after chain watching the self worth videos on youtube about how to "be the best you" and after spending a few hours a day watching all of the upcomming movie trailers of 2016, there is not so much more to do. So i write. I think.
And i wish you fair winds and a following sea