2016

New years eve.

What an interesting year. What an interesting christmas. My christmas dinner summed up: oatmeal (with nothing cause i was out of milk) and a bottle of red wine (that i drank on my own). Merry fucking christmas!

 2014 was the longest year of my life. I dropped out of high scholl, started sailing, and moved to a different country (Holland).

2015 was the shortest year of my life I think. I cannot believe that a full year has passed already. A lot of things happened to me this year. I was working in Holland with the restoration of a beautiful Brittish trawler ( just came home after her maiden voyage a month ago), and then I started sailing again.

I was sailing during the summer, an amazing trip, ups and downs for sure, but in general a good trip. I learned that I was good at teaching. I was not aware of it untill I tried, that's how it usually goes, but it did however surprise me. I am good at teaching. so good that I can actually admit to being good at it.

I got to explore a lot more this year, more than ever before. I sailed from Holland to France, to Holland, to Denmark, to Holland, to France, to La Palma, and across the Atlantic to Barbados. Caribbean.

And I visited my family this year. Three times even. I attended a wedding. I created a blog. I was very happy this year. and I was hurt more than I have ever been hurt before. I have been more frightened than I have ever been before. I gained my confidence, only to loose it a couple of months later. Now I think I am getting it back   again. Step by step. I am trying at least. Trying to grow, trying to heal. I have grown more the past four years than the previous ten.

This year has been painful. So was last year. But i have also been happier than ever before. I suppose that's just how my life works. And everyone will hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for. I think i found them. And they make everything worthwile. I wonder what 2016 will bring for me. I wonder what I will do. I reckon I will walk a lot. Maybe sail some more, I have not decided yet. That's the beauty of it. I don't have to decide right now. I don't have to know. My entire life, I have always had to know. But that's just not how my life is. Never was, never will be.
It doesn't change anything for me now though. I will keep on writing.  Not just the old stuff from my sailing in 2015. I will continue to write them down one by one. But new stuff to. About now. And what I feel and do now. Occasionally one from the past. But mostly about now. But that doesn't change much for you I hope.

 I still wish you fair winds and following seas my friend.